Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
