I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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