She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
