Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
