man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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