You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
