Just fell off a train. Bad.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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