well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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