It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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