It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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