So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
