Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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