What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
