Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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