i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Randomize
