Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
