You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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