You're so nebulous sometimes
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
