how can u be prego again
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
