Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
