Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
