I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
