okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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