U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
