Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Boobs are out for the taking
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
