it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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