i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
