Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
