i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
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