You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
