Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My vagina just recognized that song.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
