11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
