Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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