You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize