the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Randomize
