I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
