dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
