in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It's Friday. Sex?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
