Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
