We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
