fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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