I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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