You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
