..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
