I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
