I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
