Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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