Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
