I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
