i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
