If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
