ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
