You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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